Tag Archives: Self Discipline

The Fat Beast within

It’s Employee Appreciation week at work. This is something that my workplace does every year to show their heartfelt gratitude for the feeble efforts of us little guys. I say that in jest. My company does put a lot of effort into keeping us happy, and that’s a hell of a lot more than I can say for most places. Sure, like all top-down, hierarchial organizations, it has its faults, but there are far worse places out there. I’ve worked at a few. There are places out there that don’t give two shits about their rank and file employees, places that view their people, the lifeblood of their organizations, as just another resource to be exploited. I have much to be thankful for in this department.

So, this week my work is catering meals every day and has a continually filled popcorn machine on the grounds. The old me would revel in these facts, and not give a second thought to stuffing his fat face with reckless abandon. The me of today is locked in an internal struggle, a battle of wills. On the one side is my rational mind, which has helped me lose seventy pounds, and does not want to see me lose ground. However, on the other side, is a thoughtless and hungry animal, that doesn’t give a rat’s ass about getting and staying in shape. This beast only cares about its next burrito or cupcake. This creature knows no self-control. So far, the beast has had its way.

I am going to have to get a grip soon, or I will lose all the progress that I have made. I know I can do this. I have proven that I can do this. And most importantly, I really, really want to do this. With that said, tomorrow is lasagna day, and the beast is hungry.

That’s all for tonight, friends. Thanks for reading!

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Bad Habits

I seem to be stuck in a relapse of my former bad habits. For the past few days I have eaten food whenever I felt the compulsion, and the food I have been eating is not in any sense healthy. Tomorrow I weigh in and I can only guess how much fat I have reacquired. This is unacceptable. I have come too far to revert to the creature that I was before.

Yesterday morning I did wake up and do three rounds of the Wim Hof Method first thing. That day I was able to hold off eating until the afternoon. I have not had any cold or contrast showers all week. I’m going to try to reboot things tomorrow. I know I will get back on track, I just hope I will be able to do it before I have to go back to work on Monday.

Besides my cutting loose into debauchery, everything else is going well. I’ve been enjoying getting to spend a lot more time with Denice. We haven’t really been doing anything besides hanging out at the house, but it’s still nice. I always take the path of inactivity when I don’t have a plan. If there is no structure, I fall apart. This is troubling seeing that I would like to have a more financially independent lifestyle in the future. I really need to work on correcting this weakness. If I cannot self-organise my life outside of a company imposed schedule, I’m not going to have a good time with it. I need to learn self-discipline on a whole other level than what I am operating on now.

On a positive note, I did complete one project that was on my list. I successfully replaced our sink sprayer. The old one was worn out and would not immediately stop spraying when the trigger was released. Replacing it and the hose was much more difficult than I had expected. The connection of the hose to the faucet module was very hard to access. There was not enough room to get a wrench on it. It took a while, but I eventually worked it free and got the new hose connected. It was a frustrating but ultimately rewarding task.

We have two Redbox DVD’s to watch tonight: Deepwater Horizon and Denial. Denice is taking a nap, so I’m going to go wake her up.

Til tomorrow.